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          Kitty, the blog animal         June 30, 2003

Kitty has a healthy respect for our big scary fan, but that doesn't stop her from catching a cool wind by hunkering-down about five feet away.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 29, 2003

It has been hot, but Kitty has learned how to chill-out by making herself flat as a pancake on a cool linoleum floor or tile countertop.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 28, 2003

Kitty let out a loud cry of injustice when I explained that Cirque du'Soleil only accepts applications from human acrobats.   Kitty got very emotional and legal minded, suggesting that they might be unwittingly discriminating against all in her species, genus, family, order, class, and phylum.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 27, 2003

I have photographic proof that Kitty sleeps with her rear legs stuck in the air.   Kitty sleeps with her legs stuck in in the air

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 26, 2003

Kitty is deep into her morning nap, but her ears are still on the job...   Sunlight illuminating Kitty's ear

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 25, 2003

It looked terribly uncomfortable, but Kitty was using my belt as a pillow, and I should have known better than to try to reclaim it, so besides a close call with a sharp set of claws, I spent most of the day fearing that my pants would fall down.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 24, 2003

Kitty has always been kind of a show off, and I always hoot and holler when she performs a spectacular leap.   So, now the plan is to get her to jump on command, and we're having some success.
At the Kitty Knievel landing site, kibble is on-tap.   No helmet required.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 23, 2003

A good trick to play on Kitty is to pick her up, upside down, when she is least expecting it.   Upside down and all stretched out, her belly becomes a musical bongo, with a variable tone, depending on where one drums.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 22, 2003

Kitty telephoned our County Ag Agent to ask about the outlook for the local corn crop, and he told her "knee-high by the 4th of July".   Here at Kittyland we're growing tomatoes, which I'm sure, makes absolutely no sense to Kitty.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 21, 2003

Kitty got her monthly application of Advantage®.   This has become a necessary evil here at Kittyland -- it has the most awful chemical smell, and even though everyone seems to say that it is safe, it is still a deadly poison at one level or another.   After her application, Kitty hightailed it out of here, and later I saw her sulking.   This evening she seems to have forgiven me, but jeezzz, she still still stinks like a toxic waste dump.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 20, 2003

Kitty had her lawyers here this afternoon and they made me sign an agreement whereby I wouldn't photograph Kitty with electronic flash.
I've cooperated fully with their demands, and I think Kitty will eventually forgive me.   In the mean time, here is the photo that got me in so much hot water...

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 19, 2003

I remember watermellon eating contests, where hands were tied behind your back and the approved technique was to just put your face into it.   It's the same way Kitty gnaws and gulps her corn.   Kitty, doing lunch...

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 18, 2003

I've been trying to explain to Kitty about the great deadpan humor of William Wegman and his people-like Weimaraners posed in all sorts of common human activities.   Dressing her up would be the easy part, but willingness to remain in one spot seems to be a major difference between a Weimaraner and a certain Tuxedo cat we all know and love.
But I did get another picture of Kitty, with eyes gazed skyward...

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 17, 2003

Kitty and I have been working on the word "kibble" since day one, and she is finally starting to get some depth into her "k".   The problem is that Kitty uses "kibble" interchangeably with "corn", so in Kitty's dictionary, "kibble" probably means "lets eat", and not the actual object.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 16, 2003

From time to time Kitty demonstrates just what a fine and sensitive set of ears she has.   Last evening she alerted me to a dog outside, bent on going through the garbage.   But I wish I could train her to alert me when deer come visiting to munch my tomato plants.   Kitty could care less about tomatoes, but security might be different if our crop was corn.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 15, 2003

My goodness, I should have had the sound recorder rolling this morning, because I've never heard Kitty let out such a long assemblage of attempted speech.   I think I see a fine new career for Kitty as a pledge-break host on the local PBS station.   "Call in that pledge folks, or Kitty will just keep on flapping her jaw until you do..."

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 14, 2003

Kitty had that hungry look, so I gave her a piece of corn, but she took only a few nibbles.   This would normally indicate that she wanted kibble instead, so I gave her kibble but she didn't seem interested, so I guess she isn't hungry after all.   I should check her for mouse-breath.
Click for a few new Kitty photos.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 13, 2003

If Kitty ever had an owner's manual, we've lost it, and I know that cats are supposed to sleep a lot, but this is rediculous.   The Internet tells me that the "big" cats lay around all day saving themselves for short bursts of energy during a chase and kill, but even though Kitty does occasionally chase and kill things, I've never seen her work up much of a sweat.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 12, 2003

Kitty gave me a little lick on the nose yesterday, and I'd call it a kiss, but I suppose Kitty was just cleaning me up a little bit.   Thank you, Kitty.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 11, 2003

Someone recently said that Kitty was gorgeous, and Kitty shouldn't let the compliment go to her head, but last night she was strutting around balancing a book on her head, so I imagine that she has plans.
I took two new photos for her portfolio:   the front  and  the back.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 10, 2003

I was noticing how Kitty, like a dog in need of being petted, will give me a little demonstration of what I should be doing.   Kitty spent her first three years with two dogs, so a bit of "dog" was bound to rub off.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 9, 2003

Fresh corn-on-the-cob and a brand new sack of Whiskas® has arrived at Kittyland.   Kitty went bananas, as usual.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 8, 2003

At first I thought she was telephoning the cigar store again asking if they had Prince Albert in a can, but actually she was calling all the local supermarkets to check on the availability and quality of their fresh corn.   We're out, and the look on Kitty's face is one of intense concern.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 7, 2003

I gave Kitty a sticky-note and a pen, and told her to jot down a few thoughts for today's edition of kitty blog.   She wrote a headline which reads no news is good news, but that's as far as she got.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 6, 2003

A few days ago Kitty's corn bowl crashed to the floor, and as a temporary replacement I gave her a regular dinner plate.   She thinks the idea is so special that she is trying to keep the pieces of corn on the plate, without dragging them off and making a mess on the counter as is usual.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 5, 2003

Kitty has changed her tactics of waking me from poking my forehead with a hint of claw, to this new and improved method of stroking my eyebrow without any trace of claw.   I explained that DaylightSavingsTime entitles me to an extra hour of snooze, but she just isn't buying it.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 4, 2003

Kitty doesn't mind a bit of torment, because she is feigning sleep on Don's lap, and that's all that matters.   It's the perfect time to tug her ears, pull her whiskers, scratch any exposed teeth, and bump her nose.   I always get the same number, but we count her feet, toes, and each razor sharp claw. ...everything is included with the price of admission.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 3, 2003

Kitty was hot-as-a-dog when I got home, but now she is flattened out on the kitchen floor, soaking up the coolness it stores.

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 2, 2003

Kitty seems to have one multipurpose exclamatory utterance.
"Yee-ohwow" can mean a variety of things, but usually, when she says it to me, the message is "figure it out, dude".
Click to hear a .wav recording of:  "Kitty sings the blues"

          Kitty, the blog animal         June 1, 2003

Kitty will say "kibble" with two distinct syllables, and tries to wrap her "k" to make it sound like something close, but the problem is that Kitty won't speak on command, like a dog or parrot.   She could become quite a conversationalist, but darn it, she just won't respond to my prompts.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 31, 2003

Kitty seems to have very definite protocols attached to the major events within her realm.   Occasionally I forget that I am supposed to pick her up for a short pickup-squeeze when she is served her little piece of fresh morning corn.  Kitty will patiently ignore it until I remember my training.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 30, 2003

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 29, 2003

Kitty thinks right now would be a very good time for her morning corn.
The intensity of the vibes she is sending to the back of my skull would crack even the toughest walnut.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 28, 2003

Sometimes it is difficult to get Kitty to stay put in front of the camera.   If I move away to frame up a shot, she will move closer to be within petting range.   It took a bit of doing, but I did manage to get two new Kitty photos:   Kitty, the cutie  and  fur-scape.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 27, 2003

Prior to Kitty I thought I was a "dog" person, but cats are much easier to entertain.   To get Kitty purring, all I need do is carry her on a short tour of the house.   We pause at the window and I ask her if she sees any doggies, kitties, or birds out there, and I'm silly enough to believe that she knows what I'm talking about, but really, I think she does...

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 26, 2003

Yesterday I noticed a little dirty spot just above Kitty's nose, and it's still there this morning, so when she wakes I'm going to clean her nose.   When I was a dirty faced little kid, my mother would fish an old piece of Kleenex from her her purse, spit on it, and scrub my face with it.   I hated it.   "So, Kitty, I want this to be a gentle experience, so I'll use warm water with a clean washrag, but like it or not, you are going to get your nose cleaned this morning".

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 25, 2003

She never tells me where she is going, but Kitty finally woke up last evening, fixed her fur, put on her tuxedo, gave the Chronicle's entertainment section a final glance, borrowed the car keys, and that was the last I saw of her   ...until about three a.m., when she woke me by sitting on my head.   I thought she wanted to talk about her date, but no, she just wanted the kibble and corn she had missed out on earlier in the evening.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 24, 2003

Kitty will come alive later this evening, but if she has done anything other than sleep on this fine Saturday, I missed it.   I'm sure that if I were to look up "zzz" in my dictionary, I would find a pictue of Kitty sawing logs.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 23, 2003

I can only imagine what a moth tastes like, but by Kitty's enthusiasm, they must taste better than they look.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 22, 2003

It's been another month of a flealess Kitty, and it was time, so I snuck up on her and gave her another dose of Advantage®   Kitty pulled out a stack of reports showing that most poisons are dangerous no matter how small the dose, but I'm really sorry Kitty, this is something we have to do.   That chemical smell is really vile, no matter which way you slice it, and poor Kitty has to wear it.   Sorry Kitty.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 21, 2003

Kitty has an interesting blood vessle in the iris of her eye which undulates around the lower perimiter.   I had never noticed it until I discovered it in a close-up photo of her.   Take a look.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 20, 2003

I brought home some really nice looking fresh corn for Kitty this afternoon and she went bananas.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 19, 2003

Kitty was less than enthusiastic about her morning corn, and I wondered if she might not be feeling well, but she seems fine this evening, so I guess she is probably just getting tired of thawed-out frozen corn.   But fresh corn should be improving in quality and coming down in price soon.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 18, 2003

Picking Kitty up upside down is something she really seems to enjoy.   Patting her belly produces a variety of somewhat hollow tones, and I think if I used a bow I could probably noodle a simple tune.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 17, 2003

Kitty hasn't helped me tie my shoelaces for quite a while, but this morning she suddenly remembered what fun it was to throw a monkey wrench into the procedure.   Oh, you know how cats are...

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 16, 2003

Kitty brought another mouse inside.   It escaped, and when I pulled it out from under the refrigerator it gave me a good nip on the finger.   And to top that, about an hour later Kitty accidently bit the same darned finger.   If I turn septic and die, you will know...
But before I go, I've added six new Kitty photos to the gallery.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 15, 2003

Getting the back of my hand licked by a wet piece of 80 grit sandpaper is about the only way to describe it, but Kitty gave me the full treatment first thing this morning.   Kitty says I'm ready for the sanding-sealer, after which she plans to apply a shiny coat of water-base polyurethane.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 14, 2003

Kitty has two breakfast options:  She could track down that noisy bird outside;  but option two is to remain bunkered in her feeding station, where she can send out telepathic messages designed to penetrate the thick skull of the fellow who doles out the breakfast kibble.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 13, 2003

It's not exactly an approved yoga position, but Kitty and I enjoy the metamorphosis of contorting and stretching ourselves into two lazy slugs on our Kitty-clawed-couch.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 12, 2003

I suppose if cats went to college, they would all be required to take a semester of Human101, where I'm sure they would spend a lot of time studying the dynamics of human lap mechanics.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 11, 2003

It's a big world beyond Kitty's territory, but she seems happy and sufficiently contained within her slice of the pie.   It's as though Kitty expects life to drop by.   Last night she ordered an anchovy pizza...

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 10, 2003

Kitty started her day with a few good stiff claws on the corner of my couch, and yes, she is allowed to claw my couch as much as she wants.
I used to have rules, but I gave up enforcement when Kitty moved in.

Years ago, when Kitty was the upstairs cat and she and I were still just friends, Kitty and her dog-friend Jedda would pay me visits on my arrival home from work.   Jedda would ask for treats, and sometimes Kitty would take a snack, but mostly she just wanted to claw the corner of my couch.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 9, 2003

It takes very little psychic ability to read Kitty's mind, so why not, lets spoil the Kitty and give her a thin slice of fresh breakfast corn.   Lets feed this cat so she can get on to whatever it is she does all day.   It is indeed a timeless mystery.   Maybe even an undiscovered dimension.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 8, 2003

And what a perfect setup for Kitty.   She has gotten accustomed to a few luxuries, but her secret is to keep events simple and predictable.   For right now, Kitty needs a power-nap on Don's lap.   And one wonders if anything at all is going on in her pretty little head.   Perhaps a silent scheme for more power and domination.   Perhaps nothing at all.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 7, 2003

Oh no, this is no ordinary cat; and if I pay careful attention I may learn the higher workings and devices that make her a most special and perfect being.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 6, 2003

No doubt about it.   Kitty's favorite food is fresh corn.   And some good looking fresh corn has arrived, and Kitty is definitely happy with the situation.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 5, 2003

Kitty has a busy day planned, and she is growing impatient for breakfast.   She knows I'm trying to ignore her, but until I crumble, she is going to lazer-in on me with every searing watt of psychic intensity she can muster.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 4, 2003

I offered Kitty a piece of boiled carrot, but she would have none of it until completion of the official serving-of-the-morning-corn festivities.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 3, 2003

Kitty and I have been practicing the word kib-ble since day one, so I know Kitty is able and willing to communicate, but maybe I've been trying to teach her my language when I should have been trying to learn hers...

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 2, 2003

I alerted Kitty when I noticed a silly and very wet Blue Jay outside.   Even though I didn't get much of a rise out of Kitty, this is the sort of thing one does for a friend.

          Kitty, the blog animal         May 1, 2003

First thing in the morning, while I'm trying still trying to figure out who and where I am, Kitty will have already made a fast sprint to the kitchen to wait for her breakfast kibble.  I've never seen her just walk to the kitchen. It's always an enthusiastic race, and I'm sure she is demonstrating the example she wants me to follow.  By the time I drag myself to the kitchen, she will have already gone into her first nap of the day, and we get to stretch, yawn, and say good morning to each other all over again.

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